1. |
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What does it mean
When that chittering fiend
Returns with determination?
Time seems to leak
With each word that I speak
Scarring the fresh inflammation
I'm just a man
Who can't understand
His prize
The battles don't end
If the war won'r rescind
The lies
Hear what you want
The pleads or the taunts
While all of you fuckers keep fucking
And how does it go?
They say write what you know
Well, I've archived my infinite nothings
Succumb with aplomb
The merciless compromise
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2. |
Wasn't Blessed
03:16
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Every morning rise I pry open my eyes
Staring at that stupid pillow I sleep beside
Sitting comfy on that cushion is a slice of humble pie
Tasted right the first time now it’s rotting my insides
Still eat it every day ritually
Cuz that guttural pain gives me the right to complain
Everybody bears a burden with a capital “Be”
I’m learning that my burden is I’ve got to Be me!
Chorus:
God didn’t bless me with any demons
I had to invent them on my own
I suppose it helps some I don’t
Believe in him
So I'll take the credit for how they’ve grown
It’s kind of funny how much I’ve got to say
About how little I’ve done
Never did anybody wrong
But all I’ve done right hasn’t met expectations
Complicit and complacence is the same damn thing
Seems I’m the guys whose been left to do everything
That I need to, but I got no follow through
Too busy listening for the drop of the other shoe
Chorus
So, how does it feel to be always moving forwards?
To feel a little acceptance with every failure since your birth?
To rise above the worst of you just by making a decision?
To have your free will stifled by an embarrassment of worth?
Do I Give up or do I give in?
You see the problem is that “give” is the word in both options
Gotta keep it to myself, so I can feed those little demons
Asking me to starve them out, you’re asking me to unleash them
I think instead I’ll crawl back in bed
Stare at that stupid pillow with this guilt that I’ve pled
Think I’m projecting a bit, if you only knew
If pride is a sin then I’m just too proud of all of you
Chorus
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3. |
Grey In The Face
03:55
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I feel like everything is going my way
It’s fantastic I am so ecstatic
All eyes on me I’m a public display
Getting dizzy as the world revolves around me
You’ve got to see what it means to be me
Only a fool would ask why
Because when you do you die
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you see the grey in my face
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you understand how I’ve
dug my grave by dancing on it in one place
Command the crowd
I will clap and you’ll bow
Be respectful to someone who’s so special
Get in on this It’s not a sin to be proud
It’s just affection I point in my direction
Watch my body squirm
Shaking off the dust
Of countless ages
Let the fever burn
It’s contagious
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you see the grey in my face
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you understand how I’ve
dug my grave by dancing on it in one place
I scream so everyone looks my way
So claustrophobic when I dare to stare out into space
Avoiding focus on the fact that I’m digging my grave
Entertain to save face before I’m buried in your memories without a trace
I’m giving it all I’ve got
Standing my ground dancing on the spot
To get a little got to move a lot
Shaking my bones until the skin falls off
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you see the grey in my face
Gonna dance gonna dance
Til you understand how I’ve
dug my grave by dancing on it in one place
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4. |
I Took My Advice
03:01
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Here’s some advice
Don’t take any of mine
In fact you should stop paying attention
I took my advice
Which means I didn’t listen
And now I’m in the situation that I’m in
Again
I've thought about a lot of things
Reaching only one conclusion
That thinking about anything is no fun
But I’m loyal to the suffering
It’s my ship in the confusion
To follow that star through storms and doldrums
But it’s so far away
Christ boy, what did I say?!
Don’t fall in love with the
First star that you fall in
Love with
Idiot
That’s what you did
Isn’t it
I told you my advice was shit
But I refuse to live it down
Don’t dare romanticize
Something romantic
It’s reactive
Sycophantic
Can’t get past it was
Fantastic
How can I be chasing
What I’m still embracing
I refuse replacing
What I can’t stand facing
My pursuit of a star that shone so long ago
And the light that I see now is eons old
Oh, I fucking know
By the time I reach it the light won’t be the same
That beckoned me to follow
The star will have changed
By the time I get there I'll be dead
But that's okay
It’s the journey
Not the destination
So it will work out in the end
Let myself down easy
A tender resignation
To soften the blow of that second chance
I'm a little achey from that first one
I admitted my misguidance
I constellate that consolation
I thought if I felt it was all of my fault
I thought feeling would finally be fun
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5. |
The Last Great Thing
02:51
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I’m dying
But not really
Just a little bit
More than you
I’m dying but ironically I’m living proof
It’s hard to get my point across
I’m dying from the times that I’ve lost
And the only sure cure,
Is to say, “I told you so.”
But we all know how that goes
It doesn’t
I’m lying
It’s so silly
But no one’s understanding
Of the truth
I’m lying so my diagnosis can warrant less ruth
The more that you worry
The wrong way just stokes my fury
I know I should let it all go.
Slip through my grip so I’ve got nothing to show for it
And all that I’m left with is
chronic impediments
I appreciate all your faith in me
But honestly it just feeds the disease
Reactive hope in wearing thin
Affirming belief in
Preventative medicine
I didn't ask to be born
I’m dying
Eventually
It’s the last great thing one can do
I’m dying
Until then, I’ll shrug my way through
I’ve resigned to the end
But just to console all my friends
I'll wait until they all die
From whatever they die from
Whatever reduces us to none
It’d be funny if I'm the last one
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6. |
Character
03:57
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Here we go again
Beginning, middle, end
And tell me where do I fit in?
The schemes? Your dreams?
The chance? At romance?
Out of sight and mind
Roles distinctly defined
As the narrative refines
Who serves who's shine
Who deserves to blind
Waiting in the wings for my cue
Supporting what the lead needs to do
So that when their story is done
They get a standing ovation
I'm just a plot point, I'm just a stunt
I'm just an inciting incident
And i stand here in my disguise
Hoping to catch the eye
Of someone in the seats
And break their suspension of disbelief
Character relies on compromise
Call me to the stage
I'll laugh and cry and rage
To illicit blinding praise
Of what you've done
My loss, you've won
by default
Look for someone in the seats
To break suspension of disbelief
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7. |
Vocabularity
03:11
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Vulnerability
A quality that’s key
Right up to the point
It might get disappointing
Too much sympathy
Gets to be boring
Seems “unconditionally”
Has got some stipulations
Or should I say conditions
Oh, deary me
Vulnerability
Is rendered obsolete
When past the expiry date
How do I put this?
Too little too late
Just a travesty
When left out too long
Now I’m giving it away for free
To entertain some guests
With an apology
And exploit it in a song
Because now it doesn’t matter
I just hope it gets some laughter
A Cautionary tale
I expect will fail
So that the disaster is repeated
Cuz we can all empathize with the defeat
You gotta earn some one’s respect
So when you lose your own you can ask them for a little bit
Otherwise you’re left
With a ton of regrets
And you can’t stop singing
Songs that sound like this
Begging forgiveness
Timing is everything
So lower defences
But it just depends
On when
Instead of this flaccid act aggression
Vulnerability
The definition I imagine
I am getting incorrectly
It’s the just condition that I’m currently in
My vocabularity
It doesn’t exist
Nor does my enemy
And if the world is not against me
Then all these threats are empty
How Embarrassing
You gotta earn some one’s respect
So when you lose your own you can ask them for some of it
Otherwise you’re left
With a ton of regrets
And you can’t help singing
Songs that sound like this
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8. |
Priceless
03:36
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What does it mean to be weak?
A soft dam with a perpetual leak
The cracks spread in the concrete
Oh no, there it goes
I'll confess that I'm priceless
I don’t fuck around about trust, That’s just my
Roundabout way to say I don’t adjust to
Duplicitous conduct or I’ll remain fucked
I'll confess that I'm priceless
The weak need to stay smart
That’s the difficult part
Gotta think things through or you lose
I’ll confess that I’m priceless
Stop to think then you atrophy
Always on the brink of a catastrophe
That pressure’s how most diamonds comes to be
I’ll confess that I’m priceless
Slow down
To a standstill
Within that silence
I’ll hear the world grinding slowly
I found
With enough free will
And calm defiance
I’m removed enough to call me holy
Every time I fail I know my life gets shorter
Flaunt what success I got left in the order
Of greatest to loudest to
Confess that I’m priceless
I need a legacy
Supporting every
Choice that I’ve voiced confidently to
Confess that I’m priceless
Accept my worth in the
Face of adversity,
Pity, petty, that greedy need to
Confess that I’m priceless
Trick that
ridiculous impulse
To falsely fault that repulsion to
Confess that I’m priceless
Slow down
To a standstill
Within that silence
I’ll hear the world grinding slowly
I found
With enough free will
And calm defiance
I’m removed enough to call me holy
Everyone can see what’s not there
Filling all the negative space where
Judgement breeds it verdict. How do I plead?
I’ll confess that I’m priceless
How do I search my soul?
It’s rarely feeling sexy, where'd my orgone go?
You gotta force that force with force, but it’s too weak of course
I’ll confess that I’m priceless
Down on your luck then you’re fucked
That's the only leg up you get.
If they buckle, while you’re down on your knees pray, pretty please
I’ll confess that’s I’m priceless
Aplomb goes long way in the wait for the day
To inherit the earth the meek collect their
Worth in time to
Profess that I’m priceless
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9. |
Another Lifetime Away
04:26
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I tried too hard to be what I thought I needed
To be just what you needed
Is not what I am
And I went too far and got a little greedy
For that need to feel needed
Now I don't give a damn
About anything else and I've gone down the list
You’re the last time I felt like I didn't feel like this
I've been wrong before
I'll be wrong some more.
Another chance of a lifetime
Another lifetime away.
You said you knew those moments when they felt right
When you trusted instinct’s insight
I should it try and see
I want to take your words and speak them right back to you
Hope that they'll get through to
What's missing in me
I was looking to quit and you gave me an out
As I gathered up my shit you saw self doubt fall out
And you doubted me
Oh the irony
Another chance of a lifetime
Another lifetime away.
The last thing I expected was to be so well rejected
By the first thing that I believed in in so long
Was the last thing That should have gone wrong
Was your conclusion
You had better things to do than
Be mine
Another chance of a lifetime
I knew I wasn't selfish I though, hey, I think I deserve this
My only fault was I was tired of being alone
My hope from there could only have grown
Up to someone worth your admiration
And mine
Another a chance of a lifetime
I'm so goddamn bored of being so goddamn scared
Yet remain so ill prepared for what I'm due to have got
But I know
The man I am is worth someone like you
suffering the truth of the man that I'm not.
Agreed that I’m good, but that’s not good enough
Now I'm worse than I was but you're still better off
And I can't compete your needs got mine beat
My wish had been answered that you tuned back into the question
That I keep asking myself again and again
And I’m going insane
And your a lifetime away
Another lifetime away
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10. |
Indeed I Did
01:55
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I've done the deeds indeed I’ve done
But no one would care to bear witness to corroborate which mistakes
Caused which memories to go missing
See, the memories I bargained in exchange for aspiration
I forget now what was the fucking thing I’m aspiring to be
I needn’t do the things Indeed I thought never did I’ll do
You say to leave a trail of bread crumbs
But I gotta eat, right? So I ate them
And now I’m walking backwards
With my back towards the front s
So I’m moving along
I look back upon the horizon the same old one I came from
And mistaken the sunset for the dawn the dawn
It’s dawning on what I’ve done so wrong
I needn’t do the things I thought indeed I never did I’ll do
Hold my hand and squeeze it each time you see I'm drifting
My daydreams are so dull I confuse them to be real
And if you squeeze while I’m awake
I'll know that you are lying and I'll thank you for the truth of how that feels
The beauty of a moment never asks for any credit
So you can take it for yourself if you prove intent is sincere
And when my day of judgement comes
And the future is measured against all that I’ve done
I’ll smile because I know you’ve been present all along
A long way to get so near
I needn’t do the things I thought indeed I never did I’ll do
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11. |
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Revered Vancouver, British Columbia
"Revered" is composer/front-man, Emmett Hall's musical experiment into pseudo-new wave/prog-rock cathartic
nonsense.
Best described as an entertaining self-cleansing though acerbic revelry and bathos.
Much of which is in collaboration with producer, Pietro Sammarco.
... more
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