I bathe in the nothing Because the void it washes clean I found the truth to the fountain of youth And the truth is quite obscene I cry I seethe And the energy released Maintains momentum never ceasing For a second Use all the fluid I’ve got The tears, the piss, the come, the snot To use to wash and scrub the pain away Baste in my juices Cooking up endless excuses to Rejuvenate the constant decay Can’t die If you always say never Perpetual sigh Sucked in the vacuum of space You don’t live if you’re Dying forever Take back what I give As I spit back in my face They say there’s nothing to fear, But I’ve got to disagree The sterile abyss keeps things quite clear, Infinity’s quite cozy I grow I teethe Secreting all I’ve been This womb’s eternal While you mother fuckers are infernal I break The cyclical ring That snake is shedding its skin Amen Recirculation of every solution Again and again and again Can’t die If you always say never Perpetual sigh Sucked in the vacuum of space You don’t live if you’re Dying forever Take back what I give As I spit back in my face

Revolve a year around it Awaiting the next But the days, they don’t get counted So the year’s endless And I’m too cold to question why I’m never under pressure That forces grace Clumsy in my endeavors But I keep pace As the seasons breed and birth and die Can’t place it, something is wrong here I don’t feel like I’m Capable of anything but to Shiver in the brightness of a cold cheap sun The milestones are crumbling As the frost creeps in Can’t see the ones encroaching The light’s blinding Though it’s cheap, it’s satisfying Why would I fear the future? If that sun still shines What’s ahead can’t come any sooner But I take my time Delaying all that’s gratifying Can’t place it, something is wrong here Don’t feel like I’m Capable of anything but to Shiver in the brightness of a cold cheap sun Cold cheap sun No rituals No rites of passage Habitual denial The only custom salvaged And the odor of the smolder As the sun grows us older than we’ve ever died before Generates a mist of a truth dismissed For a bargain never bargained for And I just don’t feel that different, Since the world has claimed it’s changed My complacence formed the instant I traded in my rage And I just don’t feel that different, Since my emotions disengaged My entitlement’s persistence Left my instincts so estranged Can’t place it, something is wrong here Don’t feel like I’m Capable of anything but to Shiver in the brightness of a cold cheap sun On behalf of no one Cold cheap sun The sun demands a man The currency of time He can withstand While choosing to ignore His own blood upon his hands Getting what he paid for

I know Every day I know Everything will go The length I’m willing to admit I know I would gladly show All the things I doubt I wouldn’t give the benefit That kills my own will bit by bit How to pay your dues How to say you’re through With all the do’s you gotta do I know It’s a choice I choose Deliberately confuse my views For what I need is true To wade my own way through these blues Oh I got the blues If I’m the one who takes the blame I’ve got to find the glory In the Shame Oh so much malaise Blending all the days Into a lather of ennui I know The bar is never raised Redundancy is praised If fooled to shine in mockery The glow reflecting back on me Shining so brightly If I’m the one who takes the blame I’ve got to find the glory In the Shame I don’t know how else to put it But I don’t want to care I don’t see any purpose In indulging that dare Hedge my bets As I profess The second guess Is always best It’s a constant test Enduring all the jests To read the words upon my crest Remind myself I’m bored to death Fake it ‘til I break it Until the earth shakes it From my need to make it Count for something I need destruction A catastrophe To release me From my Accountability If I’m the one who takes the blame I’ve got to find the glory In the Shame All for show No Reward I don’t know Why I’m bored Twidle my thumb

Well the drought left the river bed exposed The shit and the silt and the sediment and the gold And the bottom feeding wheezing, give a wink of the eye ‘Cuz they’re dirty and I’m dirty and that’s where the fortune lies Life is the just reward Now the river feeds the lines in my hand And when that bed of mud has dried to sand I will fill my hour glass And I will dictate the future that comes to pass I will deny the end Accumulating wealth through contagion Spreading rhetoric by aural infection A bloody pathogen in every recollection I’m what dreams are made of I’m a storied legend Close your eyes so the myth can take form in the dark abyss If they’re open then your nature will annihilate the ignorant bliss The future’s got no tolerance to console the bereft I leave with a promise and that promise is I never left My name is in every breath Accumulating wealth through contagion Spreading rhetoric by aural infection A bloody pathogen in every recollection I’m what dreams are made of I’m a storied legend And the few that remain in the wake of my dust Turn it over and over with a deep plow and a deeper trust That it will settle the inevitable incredible storm in their lungs Cough up the words to make the rainmaker come My name is every breath Accumulating wealth through contagion Spreading rhetoric by aural infection A bloody pathogen in every recollection I’m what dreams are made of I’m a storied legend

Is it me, or does the present always seem unfair? The math of the past to the aftermath that just never adds up Giving up on the sum of yourself you were willing to share Reflection just means that the scales get reversed and recollection is corrupt. Shut up You’re so fucking lucky You don’t win or lose It’s just old news But I’m old now too And that test of exposure to the shit of yourself, didn’t happen to stick, Now you’re stuck with a stranger who you’ve put in danger of dissolution towards it. So, now you’re lonely but with an audience who doesn’t want to clap at all For fear of suggesting some compassion or god forbid an encore You don’t win or lose It’s just old news But I’m old now too So, genuine consideration was never part of the fun? Enduring something special was something that I’d never done And I never got to thank her For the anger That’s begun And ended With myself I’m always by myself And that wealth of contentment I spent on my resentment Towards nothing at all Except that blot of red upon the wall Where I bang my head Commitment to a memory is a fool’s last hope If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d take that energy and work on my next joke And anybody who could take it, we’d all laugh together At the hypocrisy of what was meant to be just meant waiting out forever

Give me a minute While I reflect on my sins Was I doing it right? When I shouldn't have been? Kept my composure Since I’ve been up on my feet But I’m a pushover, baby When my knees get weak Integrity has blinded me To the fallacies of courtesy Now I’m haunted by regrets That haven’t even happened yet My reasons to be kind Were in denial for so long It took you to remind I’m just afraid to be wrong If there’s price to be nice We’ve all bought it for less A reason to be kind Is just a coward at his best If you’re in need of some patience Well you can take some of mine I found the problem with patience It’s just a waste of time I avoid any conflict By surrendering my greed But I’ve got nothing to show for it No scars to show me what I want to need Sedating revelations And all that they imply Ridiculous negations I’m howling Now know that all of my My reasons to be kind Were in denial for so long It took you to remind I’m just afraid to be wrong If there’s price to be nice We’ve all bought it for less A reason to be kind Is just a coward at his best I don’t fear My own fears Of myself Enough to Warrant pity From anybody else Self aware Enough to care Enough without the Ignorance to dare Enough to compromise Something funny about finding an ideal Meeting your minimum standard Letting you feel some love Without empowering delusions of grandeur Something to manipulate to facilitate The flaws with esteem and grace To leverage your losses so you can save face Apologies flowed with too much ease In the affluence of humility Flaunted my kindness with so much cheek But I’ve turned it so many times that I’m getting dizzy And the ultimatum is Looking bleak For a freak like me So we’ve reached the result Now what happens next? Can I expect a fresh one that’s not my fault Where my prerogative’s where I get to get the get And I’ll tear a page from the book you wrote Tear out life by the god damn throat And every idiom you idiots quote I’ll rock the boat and as we drown, I’ll gloat How I’ll never forget my unpaid debt You can take my remains in the palms of your hands and polish my shoes with it And I’m cold to the touch cuz I’m slash burning my soul down inside And I’ll make lost time like a son of a bitch My humiliation my motivation Now I know that all of my My reasons to be kind Were in denial for so long It took you to remind I’m just afraid to be wrong If there’s price to be nice We’ve all bought it for less A reason to be kind Is just a coward at his best

So, how do I navigate losing track? Now I know that Surrender’s the key, It’s the plan of attack The irony’s not lost on me. Where do I stand and when do I lean back? From collating random facts To assemble a wall, full of brilliant cracks The irony’s not lost on me! in the red in the black Two steps ahead Run on the spot then Two steps back A dance A race The paper chase My chance To face the music To capitulate You see, The paper trail is tangible and when it cuts, it cuts deep So it feels like something at least The context of the text is too ephemeral and the ink It tends to bleed I’ve never felt good, but this is the best that I’ve felt Relenting does not mean retreat No need to keep archiving the cards I’ve been dealt Documenting each defeat Seemed alive Running in circles I was madly in love with the thought that I was not And so surprised that I am not surprised when Running in circles Eventually I’ve lapped myself A dance A race The paper chase My chance To face the music To capitulate Burn all my deeds. Acceptance is the fuel I can finally respire Flames are so peaceful and the warmth is so cool Let’s dance around the fire in the red in the black Two steps ahead Run on the spot then Two steps back Running in circles I’ve lapped myself Doubled backed to realize It was somebody else A dance A race The paper chase My chance To face the music and capitulate Capitulate Capitulate Capitulate

The secret to my success is To mitigate acquiescence See, it’s not quite unrequited If you never gave the chance Despite the Rejection that’s at the ready To put you in your place Don’t give it the opportunity To pigeonhole your disgrace The answer could be a yes or no I’ll keep the answer ill defined By hurting nobody’s feelings but mine Take the low road, you tend to get busted And the higher road is fixed I’m searching for some justice Without taking any risk Tsk tsk tsk Oh, no one’s out to get me? Then I’m out to get me on my own I’m just a series isolated incidents Rattling in my bones Hate to be imposition So I feel somewhat inclined to be Hurting nobody’s feelings but mine I learned to learn the greatest risk Is not taking one at all I’m bracing myself for a pat on the back With such force I just might fall Don’t worry I’ll get around to y’all Just wait your turn in line As I’m Hurting nobody’s feeling but mine Hurting nobody’s feeling but mine